10. YOU ARE NOW A “C” CUP
9. YOUR CHOLESTEROL IS HIGHER THAN YOUR BOWLING SCORE
8. RETIRED IS WHAT YOU ARE AFTER READING THE PAPER
7. EARLY WITHDRAWALS HAVE BEEN REPLACED BY INFREQUENT DEPOSITS
6. EXERCISE IS JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS
5. THERE ARE MORE ____ING IDIOTS AROUND YOU
4. YOUR BACK GOES OUT MORE THAN YOU DO
3. YOU CRY AT FUNERALS…AND WEDDINGS…AND COMMERCIALS
2. MOTTO CHANGED FROM CARPE DIEM TO CRAPPY BM
1. THE ONLY THING THAT GETS STIFF IN THE MORNING IS YOUR JOINTS
